New Belly Pic

Here is my newest Belly pic at 14w6d. I've definitely grown, but now seeing the pic I realize that I feel bigger than I am. I know in a while I'll remember how "little" my belly is now and feel much differently.

Borderline animal cruelty, but too stinkin' funny

Just call her... Darth Doggy!


I saw this when I was shopping at Target and couldn't resist. She had a Halloween costume years ago that was a queen costume, but I couldn't resist this. I'm so glad my dog will do anything for treats. :)

Decisions

We all make decisions on a daily basis. Some are small decisions while some are large, important decisions. Some decisions can be made on a gut reaction, while others take much thought and evaluation of values.

One of the minor decisions I am faced with is taking way too much time and energy. We have an away soccer game on Friday. It's a 4:00 game, an hour away, so we'll be home between 6:30 and 6:45. It is also our Homecoming and I have two girls who are on our Homecoming court. They are also two of my starters, seniors, and captains. I am getting pressure from my administrators to let them skip the game, so they can be in the parade at 5:00 and still be dressed pretty for the half time deal. But here are my questions: 1. What message is being sent to my other players? 2. Would the football players who are on court ever be allowed to skip the game for the festivities? NO WAY! 3. My attendance policy is that the only reasons for excused absences are: Illness and family emergency. If you miss a practice, class, or game for any other reason, you are suspended for two games. How do I let these two girls go and not suspend them for two more games?

The major decision I am facing is whether or not to have the triple-screen blood test. I came into my fact-finding mission with an opinion and am strengthened in my decision. I think we are not going to have it done. It would be reassuring to know that everything is fine, but it isn't worth the risk of finding out that things are not okay.
1. We wouldn't terminate the pregnancy for any reason.
2. If the baby is unhealthy or terminal, we'll know when he/she is born (if not through an u/s earlier). I know myself and I will make myself sick with worry if we were to find out something is wrong. I would be so ill with worry for the last 4 months of my pregnancy that it's not worth it.
3. My thoughts are also that since nothing could be done to fix it, there's no reason to find out. God gave me the gift of this pregnancy, let me carry this long and we will celebrate and love whatever God gives us and for however long our baby is with us.

It's a little scary to opt out of a test that sounds like most people get, but I just can't see how the possibility of either a positive or false positive result can do anything beneficial for me.

Ten years later and still the same old people

So my high school reunion was an amazing waste of time and money. I did learn so many things.
1. Some people never change.
2. Those that peaked in high school are still total ass holes now.
3. I really don't care about many of those that I never kept in touch with.
4. I'm so glad I don't still live up there.

We didn't go to the Friday night, bar scene (too smokey and couldn't get there in time). I guess about 60 people showed up; sort of impressive since we had 120 in our graduating class. Then only 25-30 showed up to the organized event on Saturday. The dumbest part of all was that the "cool kids" from high schools protested paying for the reunion and one of them decided to throw her own party: invite-only. What a fucking dumb ass! How old are we? She was a snooty, elitist bitch in high school, but I was shocked to know that she still believes she is such hot shit.

I did get a chance to catch up with one friend I hadn't kept in constant touch with. She didn't know I was pregnant and just about cried when she saw me (she knew what we went through last year). It was so good to see her and get reconnected with her.

Out of the 25-30 people there, I realized that at some point I had been friends with all of them, yet really cared little to catch up. There was C and K, who were annoying in high school and still very much the same. They had a knack of working way too hard to try to fit in and seemed to insert themselves in the middle of conversations all night.

The most hilarious one of all was that we spent the whole night thinking that one guy was someone's date and he turned out to be a guy we went to school with that thought he was big man on campus through all of school. He was the big partier and no one recognized him because he was fat and bald.

I did run into Will, an ex of mine. He looked so good and so happy. He's a firefighter in a small town east of the city. I think he gave me the longest and hardest hugs of everyone. He's one that definitely still has a place in my heart because he is such a sweetheart, but I was shocked to see the look of regret on his face when I introduced him to J. That was odd to say the least.

There were 4 of us that were pregnant, so that was kind of funny: One due in two days, another in February, me in March and one at the end of April (yes, she was telling everyone at the reunion at 8 weeks. To each there own, right?).

I laughed so hard when a group of them were talking about how mad they were that Katy Jo threw her own party instead of just coming to the reunion. One even fessed up that she was mad she wasn't invited. I was so tempted to scream "WHO THE FUCK CARES!?!?!??" Our class was so divided while we were in school, with a large group who thought they were better than everyone else. Half of those people all bought houses in the same yuppie neighborhood, did we really expect anything different?

I was glad to see Korri, Chad, and Will. At least I can say I went and wasn't one of the morons who was too good to go.

Belly Pic 13 weeks, 2 days

So, I now have a whole new respect for these women who are able to do belly pics. First of all, I needed to take this myself because J would just laugh at me for asking him to do it. So trying to find a mirror that is didn't need to be dusted off so that I could use it, trying to turn sideways, hold the camera in one hand while trying to push the button, and hold it still enough to take the picture was an act of pure comedy. This was the best I can do.

By the way, this is a huge belly for me. I am used to having a very flat stomach.

I hate being grumpy!

Why do women get cranky when they are pregnant? I know it's hormones, but seriously let's think about this.

This is one of the most amazing and miraculous experiences we will ever go through.


Through these children we will experience a different kind of and a different quality of love than we have ever experienced before.


These children were created through the love we share with our spouses.


Pregnancy is an amazing gift that we have been blessed with that not every woman gets to experience.


So how come this experience is riddled with puking, horrendous mood swings and and grumpiness?


I know that I am not alone in this, but I get so frustrated when I can't appreciate and enjoy this (yes, even the puking) because I am upset about something and I can't seem to let it go. My students frustrated me; my players maddened me; the referees were a freakin' joke and I'm sitting here in tears because I let it bother me that much that and now I can't seem to shake it.

I hope this lack of control of emotions is normal with pregnancy because I'm not okay with turning into a bitch (or at least more of a bitch than I was before).

And just to add a bitchy comment on... if one more spammer posts on my blog, I'm going buck on them!

Newest Baby Pic

My blessed life

There are times of years or situations around us that cause us to stop and appreciate the gifts in our lives. For many people not directly affected by the aftermath of hurricane Katrina, this has been a time of reflection and admiration for their own gifts in their lives. Couple this with the approaching annivesary of the attacks on September 11th and many people are probably slowing down and having pensive moments.

I am definitely not immune to the moments of thanksgivng for my gifts.

* My family. I know I am so lucky to have such a supportive family. While they drive me nuts at times, I'm so lucky to have them involved in my life, love my husband, support my career, and be there when I need them. Both of my siblings married wonderful people that fit into our family and enhance our family. We all get along with each other's spouses and legitimately love one another. I know that we would do anything for one another.

* J's family. Wow. Could I have married into a better family? No! His parents are wonderful parents who love their children (and me) a lot and let them be whoever they want to be. They love spending time with us and I would consider them some of our best friends. His extended family are also wonderful and have always made me feel so welcome. I refer to his grandparents as Grandma and Grandpa because that is what they want me to do as the "13th" grandchild (which they have refered to me as such since J and I started dating).

* My career. While I am exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally for 10 months of the year, I am blessed to have a career, not just a job. I am blessed to have talents and gifts that allow me the potential to have an amazing influence on kids. I can not only teach them the subject matter, but I have a chance to help them become better people, work through the tumultuous times that are adolescence, and have an influence on who they will become.

* Our financial standing. I know we're in debt, struggle with our budget, and don't get to do the things that some of our friends get to do, but we own our house and cars. We always have heat, water, and food. Our needs are met, which is far more than many people have.

* This pregnancy. I'm not sure I ever really thought this would happen for me. I know I have always had many gifts in life, but most everything took a lot of work for me and not much came easily. I guess that is how I expected this to go. I'm so excited. I'm nervous about being a mom. I'm scared I won't know what to do, but feel so incredibly blessed for this gift. I still get scared a lot. My next appt isn't for a week and a half and I worry. I can't wait to feel the baby move.

* My husband. I am so lucky to have such a great relationship with J. The other day was a huge reminder of one of the many reasons why I love him so much. I came home from practice at 7:00, exhausted, feeling sick again, and he was cleaning the kitchen. I sat at the kitchen table while he scrubbed, loaded the dishwasher, and wiped off the counters. He put the bread back in the cupboard and asked if I was eating that or should he put it in the freezer. I snapped that I was trying to, but was having a hard time eating again. His calm reply was: "please don't get grumpy with me, I just didn't know if I was supposed to be eating it before it went bad. I'm sorry you're not feeling good again. I love you." With a quick kiss on the head, he went back to cleaning. He listens to my coaching and teaching stories, he gives me great advice, and is able to handle disagreements so calmly that we never fight, but are always able to discuss our issues.

So many of these gifts I take for granted and never fully appreciate.

September 11th

That is a day that will live in my memory for the rest of my life, like many others. While I remember quite clearly sitting on the floor of our livingroom, stretching after my 5:00am run, watching TV while and watching in horror. When I turned on the TV, I saw the first tower smoking and watched the plane hit the second tower, live. Awe, shock, horror, confusion.

But those are not the reasons I will always remember September 11th.

It is the day that we nearly lost my sister. It is the day God blessed all of our lives with a second chance of having Kaley in our lives. It is the day that a miracle happened.

To be honest, since we don't use our home phone very often, my heart jumps everytime the phone rings. I remember so vividly the phone ringing at 6:00am, Saturday, September 11, 2005.

"Lindsay, are you awake?"
"Yes."
"There's a problem with your sister. You promise me that you're awake and listening."

It's interesting how I feel good about only having a 5% chance of miscarrying. That's 95% chance of carrying to term and delivering a healthy baby. I am relieved and comforted by those numbers.

Kaley is that odd chance. 3% of people with aneurysms like hers live. 97% of the time people die. Yet she is alive, well, playing soccer, and running. A miracle. God wasn't ready for her. It wasn't her time.

It's hard to let her know how often I think of her and how full of awe and appreciation I am for having her in my life still.

I so wish she was closer and could share in each others lives more.