Feeling sorry for myself!

So maybe if I write it and get it out of my system I'll stop feeling sorry myself and get over it.

This has been a really freaking shitty few months.

We have been on this horrible streak of bad luck since about December. So, here's my sob story.

December 16th: J gets his sinus surgery. Long, long, long recovery and we have to pay $800 of it.

Dec 23rd: We get a call and the bitch my brother in law married threw him out and asked for a divorce. Apparently she's been having at least an emotional affair on him since before they got married. They've only been married since July. We all feel so incredibly betrayed and deceived.

About that time, I broke a tooth and had to have a root canal. The worst part is that my dentist couldn't handle it, so after spending six hours, two appointments, she sent me to a specialist. By the end of that, we owed them around $300.

Sometime around then, we are going to visit my parents and Kara decides to shove a semi-popped popcorn kernel up her nose. $100 emergency dr visit later...

We finally arrive at my parents, and a tooth I broke as a kid erupts and I'm throwing up because of the pain. When I get home, it's another root canal to the tune of another $700.

J ends up in the ER when the caterer at the meeting he was at told him there were no nuts. WRONG. $100 copay and we just got an $600 bill.

Last weekend, on Friday, I learned that one of my former students OD'ed and died. Saturday I learned that another one of my students - that I was pretty close to - committed suicide by jumping off the bridge here in town into the river.

I also learn that my sis in law's uncle died. Also, a neighbor/friend from high school's sister committed suicide.

Then two days later, I learned that I lost my job at the college. This was two days after we paid for childcare for the whole month. Did I mention that we just bumped the girl up to full time childcare so that I could sub three days a week so that we could make ends meet, because we have totally screwed ourselves over for income this summer.

Oh and when I lost my job, I also lost the chance to teach summer school this summer, which would have even slightly saved our asses this summer.

Then, I after weeks of fighting off some nasty sinus yuck, I get sick with bronchitis and a sinus infection.

Then J has a sore throat that suddenly got unbearable. He ends up with acute viral necrosis. We will know tomorrow, but it looks like we're probably headed for a tonsillectomy. Did I mention that J decided not to have that done while he was getting his sinuses done. Since we're not even done paying off his surgery, now we have another.

Did I mention that I now have no guaranteed income anymore?

We're trying not to freak out, but it's hard not to. Right now, I need to sub for 7 days a month just to pay for the childcare? So that means I will have to take EVERY sub job that comes my way.

Have I mentioned that I HATE subbing? Have I mentioned that there are some really scary schools in our district?

And, of course, because it's awesome timing and totally out of the question, I'm horrifyingly, spitefully jealous of all these people around me who are pregnant or having babies.

We're so broke that I'm terrified that not going to be able to stay afloat financially, and here I am with this insanely strong desire to have another kid.

So, there I go. Here's me and all my selfishness. All of our stupid, petty issues.

There are so many larger issues out there that people suffer from and I'm lamenting my petty issues.