A little perspective and cheer

First of all, thanks Sara for your kind words and inspiration to make this a better Christmas. I know I struggle greatly with change and that is part of why I'm taking it so hard.

I'm pretty sure J made the connection between my teary breakdown and our lack of Christmas celebration. So he called his parents and told them they were coming over for Christmas day. I'm making us a big breakfast. I'm also going to ask them to bring over some of their games. I know we're a little strapped for cash, but I'm going to go buy a puzzle and a new game for us to all play with on Christmas day. I have a $40 return/gift card for Target that I was going to save for baby stuff, but I think this will be a good use for it. I need a little Christmas!

I know I'm going to get into trouble, but I did go buy J a present yesterday. He's been drooling over the Discovery Team "Champ-se-Lise" (sp?) jersey since July. It's something he'd love to own as well as something he'll wear on his rides. It was a bit spendy, but he's spent so much money on me and my maternity clothes, that I feel it's justified.

So, I've already decided that tomorrow evening, we're going to look at the Christmas lights.

I'm also going to wrap up the present I have for J and put it under the tree to drive him crazy for a few days :)

I'm really okay with not getting presents for Christmas. I just can't stand not giving presents. It really bothers me to not be able to surprise my husband and show him that I listen and know what he'd love. He's done so much for me and is my rock. I just can't stand the idea of not spoiling him, even just a little. Plus, I don't know what I'd want anyway. Stuff for the baby?

Well, anyway, I'm doing better and am thinking a little more optimistically as this Christmas approaches. I'm leaving my cookie making until tomorrow, so that I have something festive to do and that would be out of the ordinary so I feel like it's Christmas.