It's been a while!

I'm not quite sure why I haven't blogged in a while. Part of me was thinking there was nothing to say. Part of me was too tired. Part of me was too sick. Part of me is too scared to jinx anything.

I feel like right now I'm all consumed with this pregnancy. I don't have a whole lot else going on right now, so it's all I think about. I feel crummy most of the time and then worry when I feel fine. I finally puked on Sunday, but haven't since. I still am not sure why I did then and not any other time. I really want this first trimester to hurry up. I want to be able to take a deep breath and relax a bit. I want to be able to enjoy it, but I don't think that will happen until I have another ultrasound, hear the heartbeat and am past the first 14 weeks.

My mother kills me. I mentioned that J was going to be out of town this week and so she invited me to come up and stay with them. I said I'd let her know. Well, I got an email today from my sister in law asking when I would be up so they could make plans. Then I get a phone call from my mom telling me that I was babysitting my nephew on Saturday at their house. WTF!!! The obstinate part of me says, "well, then I'm not going," just to piss her off. The other part of me thinks, "they haven't seen me since I announced I was pregnant and won't see me until soccer season is over at the end of October and I won't see my nephew until then either." The good daugher/sister/aunt part of me says I should go. The evil child who wants independence says I shouldn't go. But knowing me, I'll probably go. Mom will once again say something nasty to me about parenting, pregnancy, my life, who knows, then I'll get mad, threaten to leave early, but won't and then we'll ignore each other the rest of the time I'm there. Don't you love the mother-daughter dynamics of the midly disfunctional?

I had a coaches meeting today. I'm a little nervous about this season. I feel like I'm half-assing it already. I don't feel like I"ve put in as much as I should by now. Although my assistant coach is so gung-ho about it, that he wants to take over a lot of my responsibility. I have a feeling that it's going to turn into a deal where I'm doing a long of the paper and office work, while he's doing a lot of the coaching. We are working him into my position for next year, but it'll be an interesting situation. He's my age, but still a totally single-bachelor who parties all the time. Yeah, not me at all. I just hope I can rely on him.

So, I'm feeling "fat" these days which I keep thinking it's too early to "feel" fat. I can't button most of my shorts anymore. I think part of it has to do with my lack of exercising. I promised J that I wouldn't exercise until I could eat more. I am definitely at that point where I can't suck in my stomach anymore. I keep thinking that I must be imagining things because I can't be getting bigger already. Plus, I can hardly eat anything, so where is this coming from? I'm not upset about it by any means.

Now that I've babbled about everything under the sun, I'm going to try to get dinner ready for J when he comes home from his 3 1/2 hour ride. I'm also trying to do his laundry so he can pack to leave in the morning.

Question: How can I post my ultrasound pics? Anyone know?