Just get over it already!
That is what I've been saying to myself for a few weeks now.
J is frustrated with me because I've been kind of cold lately. He made the comment today that stung... a lot. He said something to the effect of "You put up with me; I think it might be too strong of a statement to say that you love me." Ouch!
It's not that I don't love him, because I do. I'm just very frustrated with him. I feel like I have a lot of the household responsibilities put on me. Sure, he brings in the big paycheck each month, but I'm responsible for all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, the girls, as well as working enough each month to make ends meet. It is my job to find the daycare. It is my job to get the girls' stuff together when someone else watches them.
So, by the end of the day, there's not much left for him.
Part of it is my frustration and feeling awful about weight/appearance. I'm so unmotivated right now.
But, I'm also frustrated that I am a cold fish. I was so upset when I couldn't find him last night (he told me the wrong time that he was arriving at the airport - wrong by 2 hours) and so scared, but I immediately went back into my unaffectionate routine when he got home.
I just want to scream at myself to get over it and start enjoying my husband again, but if only it were that easy.
posted by Lindsay @ 10:19 PM
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5 Comments:
It is a vicious circle - you feel over whelmed, he feels unloved. You want help and appreciation for what you do, he wants sex - I'm sure he wants more but ultimately he wants that connection and it's the last thing on your mind because he's not appreciating you. I have been there - I totally get what's happening. Want to know how to fix it?
totally TMI so stop reading if you want...
give him a blow job. (Sorry if anyone kept reading who didn't want to know that.) Honestly, it takes less time that sex, and you don't have to dress up for it or look sexy. He gets what he wants and (well with my husband anyways) he is so surprised by the act that he gives me the hugs and affection I need. He helps clean up, etc.
Someone has to stop the cycle and let's be honest, men are too lazy to do it themselves.
So try that tonight when the kids are in bed and he has no idea and let me know how his attitude changes as a result! LOL
I loved Sheri's reply!! I have been in your position too. It's one of the main reasons Clay and I argue (which isn't often, fortunately). I'm going to try to remember Sheri's advice.
omg Sheri TO FUNNY! Um guilty! I just did that last night!
but Lindsay seriously I am basically in the same boat as you. I have been trying to hug and kiss Paul more (I suck at giving affection) and it really helps to keep him happy and it actually helps me to feel less bitter. Also I have just started to ask for help. I HATE being a nag but unless I ask he WONT offer.
I'm there too. It is hard juggling it all, isn't it? And with sex, I find that I have two kids hanging on me all day - the last thing I want at the end of the day is to have my husband hanging on me. He is always nagging me to come to bed earlier but honestly, sometimes I need an hour between 11-12 to just be ALONE. I love them all dearly, really I do, but I am just tired.
I think a lot of what annoys me is that it isn't apparent that I am busy all day because he only notices when the house starts falling apart. Maybe I should take Sheri's suggestion too!
I think your husbands should be writing me thank you notes :wink:
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