Unable to sleep... again.

Why, oh why am I so tired during the day that I nod off if I sit still for too long, but cannot fall asleep at night? J went to bed almost two hours ago, and yet here I am, on the couch, wide FREAKING awake.

I cannot seem to shut off my mind. Here are a few of the things flying through my brain.

1. We have or have ordered everything we think we need to have this baby. We finally have a mattress in the second crib, a changing pad for the changing table, mattress pads, changing table cover, changing table, and stroller (the last two at least ordered). We have yet to paint the baby's room and I honestly am not so sure that it is actually going to happen, but I can hope.

2. (No offense is intended Suzi if you read this; I'm just trying to decompress so I can sleep!) What do we do about Brad possibly living with us? It's only a month to a month and a half. It would save them money, trouble, the headache. He would have a fully furnished (or overly furnished since it is the nursery/guestroom) room to stay in. He could have hot meals to come home to if he chose to eat my cooking (always a gamble :) ). They wouldn't have to spend the excess money that it takes to rent an apartment (since they are insisting on paying us some kind of rent). They wouldn't have to move any furniture here for him to live on. He could enjoy some company and not be alone in not only a new town, but new part of the country. Here is what I am scared of, though: Suzi and I have been friends since we were 4. But, despite my considering her my best friend, have been left to monthly phone calls and maybe bimonthly emails because we have lived across the country from each other and have busy lives. We even went to different middle and high schools, so it has been kind of a distance friendship for a really long time. It's going to be way different living close to each other. I'm scared I'm going to drive her crazy. I guess I'm scared that she's not going to like who I am now, when she gets to know me better now that she's close. I'm scared that being close in proximity is going to ruin our friendship. But even before they move here, what if Brad lives with us and doesn't like us by the end of it?

3. Money. Holy crap, we spent a lot of it today. Was that wise? Was it really what we need? Should we have tried to live without these things? Do we have enough to really afford them?

Here is what we did:
1. Jogger/Bike trailer. J has been wanting a bike trailer since before we had Jana. I didn't let him buy one last year because I said it was dumb to buy a single if we were thinking about having a second child anytime soon. He LOVES to bike and he wants to share that with Jana and #2. He wants us to be able to go on family bike rides. I LOVE to run. I need a jogger that I can take both of the kids in, so I can do something for me: run. We, of course, bought the top of the line one (because J doesn't know how to do anything else). It is a $500 trailer/stroller. We had $250 in store credit and $100 off coupon - so it actually only cost us $150 before we started buying the add ons. In all we spent $320 on it. I will most likely use it daily or every other day and J would like us to use it as the bike trailer on the weekends. Did we NEED it? No probably not.

2. A new dresser for Jana. She has our old one. J really wanted her to have a matching set. It will double as a changing table for as long as she needs one, so I can have the other changing table downstairs. That way, I'm not running upstairs to change diapers all the time when we have two in diapers. Necessary? Not at all.

3. My dream stroller. Our old neighbors gave us their old double stroller. It's heavy, huge, ugly, but works just fine. It was also free. I've been drooling over this stroller for months. http://www.philandteds.com/cat.htm
It's small, very light weight and can be a single or a double stroller - which is awesome since I don't have a decent single stroller, only an umbrella stroller that I hate when I go shopping or anything. It is light weight, handles like a dream and can be used for a long time. It can carry two toddlers and will go back to being a single when Jana wants to walk. Was it necessary? No. Could we live without it? Of course.

So we have blown a crap load of money on things we really could live without. Our tax return will more than cover it, but the summer months are going to be really tight and I was hoping we'd have all that to help us. Plus, soon I'm going to be buying diapers for two, and clothes for two. I don't know if I'll have any income over the summer. I'm not sure we can really live on J's alone.

I guess it's not a huge surprise that I can't sleep, now is it?!?!