A Year Later

First of all, totally unrelated to my post. What the heck with the odd comments/advertisements on my last post. I'm so glad that companies and people have now found a way to ruin this. First came telemarketing phone calls, then spam email and now these stupid posts. I need to find out if I can block those people from posting comments. Grrrr!!! Do they really think that I'm going to take the time to go look at their sites when they interupt the sanctity of my personal blog? Idiots! :)

Okay I'm over it.

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I feel badly for J. I was a total grump last night. He disappeared for a couple of hours to go work with this collegues, but I didn't know that and thought he was just hanging out without me. I am starting to get a little bored which added to the irrationalness of my reaction.

Well, one year ago today I was in the hospital in Jackson, WY. One year ago, I discovered for sure that my baby had stopped developing at 7 1/2 weeks. A year ago I had one of the most painful experiences of my life. So where am I now a year later?

I know that I'm a lot stronger than I thought. I never would have imagined I could have survived all that.

I know that I don't need to have my mother's approval to feel confident in my own abilities.

I know that I am a great teacher, but I do have some options for when teaching is no longer fulfilling.

I know that I can have a passionate sex life with my husband.

I know that J and I are in this together forever.

I know who my close-real friends are and I also know those who are only there when they need something.

I know that I would be okay with adopting a child or children to complete my family.

I know that my SIL is a great supporter of me when the rest of my family doesn't seem to be.

I know that the love and support that I receive from J's family means a lot to me.

I know that I am definitely done coaching this year.

When I think about this year and all the struggles I've been through, I honestly feel like I'm in the same place I was at this time last year. I have a feeling that has more to do with me being pg and having the fear in the back of my mind that things won't work out.

There is always an opportunity to learn from every experience in life. I have the chance to learn about myself, re-evaluate my priorities, learn about others, and my relationship with others.

Here's to a new year with new opportunities to learn and grow. I pray with all my heart that my year will include the progression of my healthy pregnancy, the birth of our first child, and continuing growth and flourish of J and my relationship.