God's Gentle Reminder

At our darkest moments, God is always by our sides, encouraging us to grow, learn, and discover good. When we hit those times that we feel as though we are in the darkness, all alone, God doesn't give us what we necessarily are wanting. He doesn't make it easy for us so we can be happy again. That's not his way. Instead he shows us the joy that we already have, but have just forgotten temporarily.

I just got home from our school's Graduation and Grad night party. I haven't gone to one of these before except for my own. I was floored and honored. Students that I haven't seen in a year were happy to see me, giving me hugs, and reminiscing about fun times they remember of my class or something related to me. I was shocked by the number of kids who gave me hugs. I initiated many handshakes and gentle pats on the shoulder, but was surprised by how many of these kids felt they needed to give me a hug.

One sticks out the most. He's a big, tough football jock. He failed my class last spring and was therefore ineligible to play football in the fall. I was very disappointed in how he gave up in not only my class, but seemed to fall into a depression last spring. He came to me and asked me if I would allow him to make up work and retake a test he flaked out on. I agreed, but made it very hard for him. He had to redo every assignment and get an 80% on the test to get a D instead of an F. He got 100% on every assignment and a 95% on the test. This year our football team not only made it to the play offs for the first time in 20 years, but also made it to the second round. This is the second time he refused a handshake and insisted on giving me a hug. The first time was in front of all his football buddies after their win in the play offs.

I went to the all-night party, just to say hi for a few minutes. 3 hours later, I just got home. The kids wouldn't let me leave. I went just to stand back and watch; let them see me and know that I was there. I had more conversations with kids than the kids did with each other. They drug me to play games with them, sign yearbooks. They even tried to get me to go swimming with them (yeah, right). But this desire by them to want to be around me just astounds me. What a blessing they are in my life.

I did get to talk to a student and one of my soccer players. She left the team because she was hurt and didn't want to be hurt for basketball. Fair enough. Basketball is her first love and I respect that completely. Her parents made it a big deal, so she (being a 17 year old kid) told them that I didn't liker her and so she didn't want to play for me. Her parents actually tried to get me fired. But Kristie and I got to talk today. I was so hurt by the way she left that this conversation meant so much to me. It showed me that it wasn't me; I was just the easy out.

This whole night just showed me how dumb I've been. How dare I pity myself. I have so many gifts in my life. I am so lucky to be able to affect these kids and establish these relationships with them. One kid even told me with tears in his eyes that he wouldn't have graduated without my help (he would have, but what a huge compliment that he would even think it).

Even if I am never to have my own children, I know that I am able to play this role in other people's children's lives. I can care for them and love them and show them how to love themselves and learning. How many people get to see how they impact other human beings like I do? Not many. Yet, I get to see how I change and mold these kids. I get reinforcement from the kids, their parents, and just by watching them grow. What a gift!

Thank you, God, for reminding me of the good in my daily life. Thank you for reminding me of why I teach, why I care so much, and how I can keep doing this.