I need a vacation

Six more weeks. Six more weeks. That is my chant these days.

I don't think I have ever been as burned out as I am right now. I know I say this every year, but I do honestly think it gets worse every year. However, this year is by far the worse.

I keep hoping that it has more to do with me being stressed out than just a mean person. I almost seriously went off on my kids today. I've been this close twice now in the last two weeks. That is so unlike me. I usually "yell" at them for purely the guilt trip effect. But today I just couldn't find a way to be nice. I hate this.

I have only 5 more Mondays.

I think being so emotional yesterday just made it worse today. I couldn't seem to find my smile.

I hate being this emotional. I hate feeling like I'm out of control of my emotions.

I did a much better job of decompressing today after work. I went on a 1/2 hour run with only my dog and the rain. Then I came home and took a long bath.

Dh and I had fun at dinner. We went out to our local Mongolian Grill and talked and laughed. I felt more human than I have in a while.

So, my next challenge will be to figure out how to have fun with this ttc deal. Because, well, we may be in this for a long time.