A plea for advice from a tired Mama!

I'm at a loss.

Kara is almost 16 weeks and not getting any close to sleeping through the night. I'm starting to get very frustrated (and in turn frustrated with myself for getting frustrated).

Kara will go for a week with consistently waking at 4 am, then have a few nights of waking every two hours at night. They can't all be growth spurts :-)!

With Jana we followed "Babywise" (without the cry it out, because we didn't have to). She was sleeping through the night at 12 weeks. With Kara we haven't been so good with emphasizing the cyclical patter (eat, awake time, nap) because, well, it sounds awful, but it was easier to let her fall asleep when she wanted so I could deal with Jana. For about a week now, I've been really focusing on the pattern, so she gets 3 or 4 naps a day for about 3 1/2 hours of sleep during the day and then sleeps from 8 pm to 4 am, 4:15 am to 7:30.

Part of the issue is that, well to be crude, when she cries at night, I sleep walk into her room and stick a boob in her. It's quick, it works, and it's fast; however, now I've gotten that little tummy use to eating in the middle of the night. So, I've been trying to slowly shorten the feedings so her tummy can adjust and I'm not torturing the poor kid.

I have a hard time with the concept of crying it out at this age. Kara's only 3 1/2 months old. She cries for a reason - most of the time, it's a good reason. The issue we're having is that at night, when she cries, it's the "I'm fussy" cry, not the "I'm hungry," "I hurt," or even the "I need to be held" cry. When she's fussing there are only two things that will get her to stop: 1) play with her (sorry, not going to happen at 11 pm, 2 am, 4 am) and 2) nursing. I don't want to solve all of her issues with sticking a boob in her. I'd really like her to learn how to self-sooth. So she cries at night and the only way I can get her to stop is to feed her. I could let her cry, but I don't want her to wake up Jana who is in the next room.

On one hand, I feel like it's my fault that Kara isn't sleeping through because I haven't taught her how to. I know she has a different temperament than Jana, so I shouldn't compare them. And on the other hand, Kara is skinnier than Jana was at this age, so maybe that's it (however, she's not a little girl).

So I feel stuck. Our house is a 2-story, so it's big enough, but has a small footprint (if that makes any sense). There really isn't a place in the house where she could cry without waking everyone. But, if she can't learn to self-sooth, she'll never consistently sleep through the night.

I'm exhausted to say the least. I don't know how to help her. I'm seriously considering putting her in the office (farthest room from Jana's) and trying to let her fuss it out more, but that will keep J up and he has to work.

I know part of the issue is that I am getting up at 5:20 to work out in the mornings and the other part is that I can't seem to go to get to bed before 10:30 or 11. (or midnight on a bad day). If I give up running in the mornings, there isn't any time to do it at another time during the day, so I won't be exercising. I've lost 19 lbs and have 25 more to go. I need to lose the weight, so quitting exercising is not an option.

Any and all suggestions or opinions would be fabulous.

Thanks!