I did it for me, not her!

After it eating at me all weekend, I couldn't believe that this was getting to me this much.


So, I apologized... for the "way" I confronted her, but not for the message.

I did it because it was really getting to me that I was feeling so full of contempt for her. That isn't the person that I wanted to be.

So, I stopped her and told her that I wanted to apologize for the way I spoke to her the other day. I told her that I have a tendency to be a judgmental person and it was not fair that I was so demeaning toward her. I don't have four kids, so I don't know how hard it is. HOWEVER, she could not continue to send her kids in to the childcare inappropriately dressed and not fed. It is her job to take care of those kids first and work any job second. If she couldn't do the first, then she needed to quit the second. While it wasn't fair for me to judge her as a bad mother, she needed to get herself together. I told her that it wasn't my place to deem her actions as inappropriate if management wasn't correcting them; I'm a coworker, not her supervisor.

She was shocked that I apologized to her, but admitted that she is cutting back on her hours (I'm not sure how that works because I think she only works one night a week) because it isn't working. I was very blunt and said good, because it appeared to be borderline neglect and "I would hate" for someone to act on that assumption.

In the end, she'll look me in the eye again, but I think I was a bit selfish in talking to her. I feel better, but now that I think about what I said to her, I'm sure she feels worse. Again, the message was pretty bad, but at least my tone was better.

I don't want to be a judgmental person. I don't want to be a mean person, but I know I have a mean streak in me. However, this is the first time I've actually gone to apologize to someone who was on the wrong side of "the wrath of Lindsay." (Funny, I have a memory of middle school when a teacher pulled me aside because she heard girls talking about that side of me and she was worried that I was like that. I guess somethings don't change.) Maybe this is a step for me toward being a gentler, kinder person to all people, not just the ones I like and agree with.