Not my place, but I can't get it off my mind.
Feel free to skip this post.
I feel awkward about writing this because I don't know Rachael or Hannah, but I can't get them out of my head and cry for them every few hours.
First, I'm not necessarily a violent person, but I would like to hunt down and beat all people who think it is their place to criticize and say hurtful things. The downside of the internet is that the anonymity the internet provides allows people to think they can say anything that they want. I use to be a judgmental person, but motherhood has humbled me immensely (thank goodness). Here is my mantra to live by: Unless I have lived his/her life, know all the struggles this person faces, and have experienced all of the life-shaping events in that person's life, I have no right to judge. Most everyone makes decisions for the best for their families and are doing the best he/she can for her children. We all suffer from the facade of invincibility. We all think we are invincible and that "it" won't happen to us... until it does. Do we all make decisions that can be seen as risky in retrospect? Absolutely! But do we do it intentionally? No way!
There's my rant.
I see that picture of sweet, little Hannah and I want to cry. I didn't know her. I only know her aunt as an internet friend. That doesn't stop me from hurting for this poor family. I think of what I would do if I lost Jana and I feel sick... and I've only had her in my life for 17 months. I can't even imagine having her for 5 years, loving her, getting to know that independent personality and growing so close to her and then losing her.
I feel so weird about having this strong of sorrow for a family I've never met. Maybe it's still the pregnancy hormones. I don't think it's that. I think once you become a mother and experience that awesome strength of love you feel for your child, knowing there is another mother out there who has lost her precious child, you can't help but grieve for her.
As I've heard many times, "No one should have to bury her child."
Please excuse my emotional outpouring. I feel out of place needing to write about this, but my heart just aches.
posted by Lindsay @ 2:40 PM
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2 Comments:
my heart aches like it was my own relative. I feel sick about it, I can't stop thinking about it. I am a very emotional person so I take a lot to heart. I can't imagine the pain the family is feeling. You aren't alone Lins in your feelings. I hurt too
Lindsay- I don't talk about it much on the board but there's a gals blog I read and she lost her baby during childbirth. Her heart just couldn't handle the pressure and she died. When Birdie's mom woke from her C-section everyone was crying and told her the baby had died. Can you imagine? I grieve daily for this woman (she's 28 1st time mom) Now 4 months later I still read her daily posts of her grieving and cry everytime. I do know that our daily hugs and posts through email help her through the day. Death especially dealing with children is extremely hard to take. I can't imagine at all what pain Rachel and Jess are experiencing. I feel just awful for the family. IT's just so sad. Hugs.
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