New Perspective

I am a bad friend. I know this, but I don't know how to fix it.

Background: I used to be a drama queen. I got swept up in every little bit of gossip and drama at work and with friends. It drove me crazy, but I didn't know how to get out of that cycle. Having Jana (and now Kara) has changed my perspective so dramatically, that I now have little patience for drama.

The events of last week have furthered my change of perspective on drama. When someone loses her brilliant and radiant (in beauty and love for life) daughter, the little piddly things that people get swept up in are just that: piddly. Life is too precious and short to waste your time and energy on such nonsense.

So, I have a friend who has had a streak of bad luck following some poor decisions. Every time something comes up with it, the drama comes back and she goes back to wallowing in her misery. Her situation does suck (and I'm being vague because I know she's visited my blog before) and I feel badly for her situation, but I am just not a good enough friend to help her through it anymore.

I know part of it is that so much of my emotional energy was spent last week. I still cry for poor Rach when I read her blog. I see her strength as she goes through this and am awed and humbled.

I just can't seem to muster up anymore sympathy for my friend. I'm tired of her going through this and tired of hearing about it... not that I would ever want her to feel like she can't come to me.

Between all of my time and energy going to my girls, I have very little left to offer her.

I wish I could be a better friend, but I'm so incredibly sick of drama.